The Women On Top

Chelsea Husum: Hard Hats and High Heels; Taking Command in the Construction Industry as a Woman

• Valerie Lynn

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Talk about a woman with SASS, SMARTS, and a hell of a lot of GRIT!  This episode lit a fire under me in the best way.

Chelsea is an incredible leader in construction, a best-selling author, speaker, podcaster, and a mom of two boys who loves her work. She shares her journey from overcoming trauma to writing “Real Vibes Only.”

Her story shows the power of aligning work with passion and making bold career changes. Chelsea offers insights for women in male-dominated fields, emphasizing authenticity, confidence, and care.

We discuss industry support, tenacity, and grit needed for business success. Chelsea also opens up about a tough lawsuit and personal trauma, highlighting the power of storytelling and vulnerability in leadership.

This episode celebrates resilience, being REAL, and the empowering realization that women will shape the future. NOW is our time!

Connect with Chelsea:

Website: https://chelseahusum.com/
Get her book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CV339HKV/
FREE Workbook: https://chelsea-husum.myflodesk.com/workbook
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chelseahusum/

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Speaker 1:

Hello, gorgeous, and welcome to the Women on Top podcast. I'm your host, valerie Lynn, and with over 15 years of business experience, I became truly passionate about finding ways to support and hear from way more women, and what we know to be true is that women thrive when they are in their favorite position on top on top in business, in relationships, in personal growth and on top in being real and authentic to who the hell they are. So I invite you to sit back and enjoy the Women on Top podcast. Okay, awesome. Well, welcome back to another episode of the women on top, and today I have such an exciting guest.

Speaker 1:

I really have been looking forward to this episode because I feel like this woman is like cut from the same cloth as I am, a little bit in the sense of like her sass, her business savvy and just kind of being like a multi-passionate human, so, and even some of the background that she's been through. So today I have with me Chelsea Husem, who is a best-selling author. She's also a speaker and she owns a successful construction company in Denver, colorado, which I just think is so amazing. She really is a trailblazer and she's in a very male-dominated industry but still has built a really thriving company, so much so that she's won an award for her company recently. Chelsea also has endured and overcome some significant trauma in her life, which we'll get into as well. But, like through all of that, she really is inspiring women to harness, like hope and grit, and truly just like embrace their own authenticity and realness throughout the difficult moments in life. So, chelsea, welcome in. I'm so glad that you're here today.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So I love, I've been loving your book and I just really enjoy how you tell your story and I feel like the chapters are so digestible, like they're kind of bite size and they really just give a lot of color. So for everyone listening, you need to go get her book, which is called real vibes only, and I love that it's like crossed out in the title because it says good vibes only, like cross out, real vibes only. I love that, so just kind of getting into it. You've said in your book that it seems that you've been no stranger to reinvention throughout your life and I feel as though a lot of women that I've talked to recently are kind of in this questionable season right now where they're kind of in this like question mark season and kind of myself included, honestly. So what, what advice would you say to them to kind of give them some peace of mind during this time? That might be kind of for some of us like really reinvention.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, I figured out over time that when I, if I'm not doing something that is really aligned with me and that I love, like I got to move on quickly, I, you know, it flows through my life and then I'm like, ooh, I'm miserable at home and I'm cranky and I'm just I wake up every day like, oh my God, I have to go to work and I hate it. Right, so it's it. I have definitely changed and I'll, I'll mention kind of like how I've gone through and changed careers completely different, in completely different ways. But for me it's like if if I know deep down in my soul, like it's just not there for me, or I'm like flat out miserable, I just know I have to move on and it it is scary. So, like for me, I had, um, I thought I was going to be the next Barbara Walters.

Speaker 2:

I have a Spanish degree, um, and then I have a broadcast journalism degree, and so I was like I'm just going to double major and then so I graduate college and then the bill, like my loans start coming due and I'm like, oh my God, I just need a job and the to be Barbara Walters like isn't going to happen. You're really, you start out making 20 grand working nights and weekends, and I'm like well, that sounds horrible.

Speaker 2:

So I, I, so I'm from a small town in South Dakota. I moved out to Colorado just to do my internship for the broadcasting degree and then I stayed here. So, like I said, the bills are coming due and I'm like I just need a job. So I took a temp job in downtown Denver with like I would just go be a secretary at random offices just because I needed money, and I will add, it was rough being a South Dakota girl in Denver going down one way streets the wrong way.

Speaker 2:

Like a lot I was like I'm going to kill my wife. But I finally figured it out. Um, but so I did that. And then, um, the woman who owned the company she's like you need to be my sister. She's hiring for their receptionist and she's from the Midwest and I know she's going to love you. So I meet this woman, mary Beth, and she hires me. So that was um.

Speaker 2:

Then I moved into trade shows and experiential marketing. So I started as the receptionist. I worked there about five or six years and I worked through up throughout the company, really in all the different kind of positions, and then at that it was a really fun company and great. But like, five years in, I started just feeling like it was so stressful, like I was going to yoga with my cell phone next to me, like freaking out that, like you know, I had a show in New York and the driver it was late, or something was damaged and like, or the driver was lost and I was. I remember camping and you know having people call me and I'm standing on top of a mountain, like oh my God, what's happening? Or at yoga and just being stressed out. I'm like this doesn't even like. At that point I'm like I don't even feel like I'm doing anything that matters, and why am I so stressed out?

Speaker 2:

Right, I was like this sucks. So I was like, well, okay, what now would I go do Because I have literally no idea. Tried, finally, did some soul searching. It was like you know what I actually want to be a Spanish teacher, since I have the Spanish degree. Never thought I'd like do anything with it. But I also was like I can't just step into a classroom because I'd be eaten alive, because I have no idea how to be a teacher. So I quit that job. I got my master's in education. Then I became a high school Spanish teacher for 10 years, so really completely different. Stepped into that and for in that point in life I needed more education to comfortably step into that. Um, you know. And then did that for 10 years. And then there was one day the last year was pretty brutal One kid one day. He called me an effing waste of space. I'm like huh, tell me how you really feel what is happening, you know. And I was just. And then it hit me. I'm like, I'm miserable, like I am at. It was September.

Speaker 2:

I remember sitting in my room and I was like I don't want, I don't love this anymore. And so, again, when I don't love something, it is like it hits me so hard and have to move on. But at this point I was like, okay, well, I just paid for a really expensive master's. My husband's gonna be like, are you serious, you know, even though I was miserable at home. But I had to be like, okay, well, now what am I doing? And I applied for all these jobs nothing, no one called me, no one. And I was like, okay, I'm either a loser or I'm overqualified or something in the middle, I don't know. So I I took the only job that I was offered, which was an office manager for a different construction company. So that actually got me, and I was. I only took it because I was so desperate to get out of teaching. That got me into construction. And then, in March of 2020, I started my construction company. Cause, what else are we doing then? You know, not like a worldwide pandemic, but um, but then I actually worked both jobs until April 22. And then I finally was like I physically cannot work two full-time jobs anymore. And yeah, wow. So it was crazy.

Speaker 2:

I have been all over the place, but I will say I don't have business training. I run a successful business. You can go out. I would say to women like, facing this inner, like something, I want something different. Go find people who are doing things that might light you up. Get around them, see if you different. Go find people who are doing things that might light you up. Get around them, see if you like that. Find people that are being successful. Get like, be open to the magic of maybe something you never thought of. But go educate yourself. You don't and you don't have to go get a degree. Google it. Like, go take a little class or something. You know what I mean. You can actually hustle and figure it out.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, I really love that. I love your also like listening to that intuition of like I don't like this, it's time to move, because I think so many of us like stay stuck for way too long, um, and then you don't move and you don't understand what might be out there for you, which I feel like is something you also mentioned, which is like go try different things, because I mean, I'm guilty of this too.

Speaker 1:

I can easily live in my head and overthink it all and like sit there and be like what's my perfect life going to be, and I think I have to think about it more. That's like the actual answer. You have to go out and like trial of these different things to really determine what is going to unfold for you, cause I'm assuming you probably never would have thought you would own a construction company.

Speaker 2:

Not at all. I never would have thought I would own a company or be in construction. But I like kind of I don't know, I just like let life take me there and now I love it and I like live my most fulfilled life I've ever lived. So it's not like if I would have sat and thought about it. I would not have ended up here at all.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that Such good advice to to just like get out of your head and just get into the action and like just kind of see where life unfolds. So you, you have this construction company. It's very male dominated industry which I think in your book you even say like the construction industry is only made up of 10% female. Um, and you're one of those women. So how?

Speaker 1:

amazing for you, but what are some of the things that that's taught you Like being in that industry? It's very male dominated. What have you experienced? First of all, cause I'm just very curious, and then also, what would you say that, yeah, you've like really learned from being in that kind of industry.

Speaker 2:

Well, I've learned to be myself, and really so. I have to say, though, like there I have, I've now met women in this industry that have been in it 20, 30 years or more. They're the ones that paved the way for me, really Like they were the ones like kind of in the trenches and and maybe getting more discrimination, or being literally the only woman on a job site Right For many years. So, and I'm like I can be out on a job site, you know, in my hard hat, but I'm a lot of times in the office or I'm out at events or things like that too. I literally do everything, so I kind of am all over the place.

Speaker 2:

What I so I really, um, I think I don't put up with people treating me badly Like I'm a confident person, I know who I am at 41 years of life, like and, and so I I have learned about myself is that I go out into the world as who I am, completely Like what you see is what you get. I'm genuine, I'm honest. My clients know, they know, they get to know me and they just they know like I'm going to help them out, like I'm not going to ever screw them over. I'm not going to. You know what I mean I genuinely care and I'm genuinely like trying to make their life easier and just be a good.

Speaker 2:

I want them to love working with us and I want to make their life easier. So for me it's like I I really had a lot of people taking me under their wing and a lot of support. I mean it's more than I probably should have. Just, I mean, you wouldn't think I'd have that much. But I go out now and it's hysterical. Like men are like oh my God, you're just, we watch you on LinkedIn. You're just everywhere, girl, you're just doing everything. And oh my God, you have a book out. And they're telling other men like she just wrote a book. And they're telling other men like, well, yeah, she's doing this and like she's like famous at which I'm not, but it's so funny.

Speaker 2:

They're these men's perception of me on LinkedIn which is like more of my construction-y, like social media, and all I do is go places, take pictures and I'm like, yay, this was a great event, blah, blah.

Speaker 1:

You know what?

Speaker 2:

I mean I'm not even doing anything special, but it's the perception that people think I'm everywhere working with everybody and so it's so funny to me. But I mean I've created really good relationships. Like I love working in construction because I I've always hung out with guys Like I can. I would be in high school like the one girl with like 10 guys. It's just, I'm chill, I'm mellow, I'm I hate drama, so I I get along really well with guys and girls too. But it's been really cool to meet people and a lot of people are just super down to earth and just talk about life, not even business.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love all of the like what you mentioned about the support, because I think that's also huge when, especially when you're doing something really new, and really new also for our gender, honestly. So I love that. People kind of took you under their wing and I think that that is a huge stepping stone, but I feel like in order to do that, you had to put yourself out there. So it's not like people just took you under their wing because they're like oh, I don't know you, let me just do this. It's kind of like putting yourself out there, right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And like you know, yeah, you are putting yourself out there. And and now when I go somewhere, like people know me, you know it's funny, like they're like oh, you know, we're friends on LinkedIn.

Speaker 1:

I'm like.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, sir, Like you know, I have no idea, but they, like they all know me when I go to these places and I don't know why. Like it's just, I'm real and I'm putting it out there. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I feel like that shows up in your book too, Um, and it just feels like it's genuinely who you are. So I think it's a Testament to just really showing up as your whole self and not trying to posture as if you're something else, and I think that that's something, something like we all have to learn a little bit too, especially going into the business world. You want to pretend like you know what's going on.

Speaker 1:

Um, so you can get into maybe bigger rooms or people trust you or whatever, but at the end of the day, like if you're not just authentic, like I don't have a clue what I'm doing, um, I feel like it only gets you so far. So are there any? You know, you kind of mentioned, like you had this innate sense of getting along with men, um, at a young age. But do you feel like there are certain personality traits for you know, women who are starting businesses, especially in, like male dominated industries, that are like, okay, you definitely should have X, y, z, like tenacity?

Speaker 2:

or whatever those things are.

Speaker 1:

What would you say? That yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean tenacity and grit, like I mean just owning a business in general, you're pretty crazy, let's be honest. Like you, we are a special kind of crazy and I mean, oh yes, I'd love to have everything I own on the line and you know people that don't own a business just don't understand the level of things that could go wrong or whatever. But also you can live this amazingly beautiful life too, like my. My life is what I make it and I told my husband jokingly I'm like I'm ruined forever. I could never work for anyone else, ever again, and I can never go to an office from eight to five Like I would lose. I get fired the first day, so bad. But yeah, I mean you have to have this belief in yourself. You have to understand you're in it for the long haul. You will not be successful overnight. You, it takes so much. Like.

Speaker 2:

I remember when people, when I first started the company and what clients would call me, I would be terrified. Oh my God, they're going to ask me a question. I didn't have a fricking clue what I was talking about. I had to write stuff down and be like well, I'll call you back, I'll check. Now I could talk about it in my sleep, right I and they're like oh, I don't even know the answer to that question. You know I'm like now educating them, but I remember when I started I was like, oh my God, this is, I don't know what I'm even like doing really.

Speaker 2:

But you figure it out and then you get really good at it you know, and yeah, I, you know people, if you're starting a business like you, probably aren't going to get paid right away. I worked for free for years. I just started paying myself this year, so don't think you're. You know, for me, it me, it was it.

Speaker 2:

For me, it was more about paying my employees really well yeah and making sure I had really good people, because if you don't have good people, your business isn't going to succeed. And one weird thing that my employees tell me no one does this. They're like you're just like literally no one does this, but I have always paid them for 40 hours a week, whether they're working or not, so they might be sitting at home on a Wednesday just getting paid and chilling. But I need really good people because, like, if you don't know what you're doing, it's dangerous. People could literally die. I mean, it's, it's. You can't mess around and I need experts. I need people that they know more than I do, and I just trust that they go out and do what they need to do. So, yes, I made the choice. I pay more in payroll probably than most people and I pay them very well, but to me that's worth it, you know. So it's like I I didn't care about paying myself because I need them. They're the building blocks of the company.

Speaker 1:

Right yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know I can get a job, but if they suck, they're not going to get more jobs.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely I would say make it your own, like do things your own way. No, just cause somebody, everybody does this way. I just do whatever I want and I go with my gut and it's led me to build a really cool company.

Speaker 1:

Right and I feel like you're really in alignment with your values, which I think is the other piece Like when you're talking about payroll and I think that's something that we see a lot of in, like the corporate world is that when you don't pay people, well, you end up with a half-assed product, right, like you end up with, like all these issues. So I love that you're just pouring it back into your people, which is really what makes your company, that you know, successful for sure. Yeah, how did you? Okay? So what was the award that you won, first of all for your company? I would love to hear about that yes, um.

Speaker 2:

so the company won one and I won one just recently. The company won Denver business journal. We were um a finalist for the small, the extra small business awards, which was super cool for the second year in a row. Actually, I was like wow. Yeah, and then I just won um one of the. It was the 25th anniversary of Denver business journal. Outstanding women in business.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my God, one of those which was super cool.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was amazing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, congratulations.

Speaker 1:

I think I did see something on LinkedIn about that, so I wanted to ask you, but that's such a um, that's such an amazing award and just a testament, I think, also to your leadership and, oh my gosh, all that you've been through to get this company up and successful and running, and I just I love to see that, like I love to see good people, especially women, obviously like that's my whole passion Um, especially women get rewarded really well, right, like we need so many female leaders to just start embracing who they are. So, congratulations, that's so awesome. Where is the company heading next? Like, what do you have? Like, do you have visions of grandeur? What can you share? As far as, like, here's what I'd love to see happen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean I, um, we've been almost doubling every year. I had to. Yeah, it's been crazy. We were in high six figures last year. I was hoping to hit the seven you know the million threshold. Finally, um, I did have to have some employee employment changes in may, so I have a pretty small team right now, but also it kind of like shifted my perspective to uh, okay, whatever, you're chasing this revenue, what, whatever? Right, but you also, the more people you have, the more costs you have right and and overhead. So right now we've been doing really well. We had um June, I think was our top month ever, with actually less employees than I've ever had, which was really cool. It's like actually we can do this.

Speaker 2:

And and um. So really my goal is to keep working with the clients we are working with. Add, you know I work from like tiny little companies to like ones that do like 500 billion a year. I I'm all in the middle, like I work with all kinds. So, you know, continuing to grow that base and have the people like we are their first call. But really too, it's my goal right now.

Speaker 2:

Is has kind of shifted is to pay off any debt of the company and be a completely debt-free company so that I then moving forward, I'm really even more stepping up my employee pay, all that you know, and and doing things, giving back to the community, more, all that kind of stuff. So it's kind of where I'm at right now is trying to just be a completely debt-free company and then keep going, you know yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's a big goal too, especially for a small business. It's really, I mean, I think that we kind of have over-sexified this term of being an entrepreneur, because everyone now wants to be an entrepreneur, but I don't think they understand. It's different than, um, what am I trying to say? Multi-level marketing, like it's totally different than that.

Speaker 1:

And it's like for you, you're, you definitely understand a whole different level, but I think that people don't realize the like love, the sweat, the tears that goes into all of it, and how you have to like love it so much that you are willing to not get paid, that you are willing to like have sleepless, all of that, and I don't think like. I don't think this next generation maybe realizes that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean the amount of times. Yeah, I would wake up in the middle of the night and be like, thank you, I. I'm constantly thinking about work, but I do love it and it's because somebody asked me once like, well, how did you keep going when you hadn't paid yourself for years? Because I knew I was building something and I believe in what I'm doing and I just fricking love it because I'm helping build things. People live their lives and, for example, in my town I live South of Denver I have helped build the hospital here. We just built a brand new library.

Speaker 2:

I've worked at the airport. I've worked at prisons, schools, hotels, whatever. I've worked freaking everywhere. So it's like I I love driving around and telling my kids, my boys look, mommy helped build that. Like next weekend I'm going to a concert. I won tickets from one of my clients at an event and I was like, oh my God, I'm so excited Cause I helped build that. Like I was there like every week for over a year helping build that. So I get to go and be like that. It's just a sense of pride, Right, and you're you're helping for me build things. People live their lives, in which. How cool is that, Right?

Speaker 1:

Totally. Oh my gosh, that is so bad at. Like I just love listening to you talk about what you've helped contribute to the actual buildings and like listening to you, you have that passion that, like this is part of your being. It's not just like, oh, I hope to make a quick million dollars Like that's so the other end of the spectrum, that it's not even funny it's so much deeper yeah. Yeah, so I love that. Oh, my gosh, I am just like completely enthralled with you and all that you're doing.

Speaker 1:

So awesome Just to hear of a again like a woman doing that kind of work. It's really inspiring. So, but for people looking at it from the outside, um, it might look to sound like you have it all right, like you've got the family, you've written this book, you've got this award winning business, all of that. So for people who are maybe like comparing themselves to you, what would you say to that woman?

Speaker 2:

Oh, I love this. I love this Number one I am not perfect at all at all. And number I don't want you to ever think I'm perfect, like that is not my goal in life. We, as women, why do we suffer in silence and we're like going through a hard times? We're like, but she, all these women, oh, they look like they have it together. They don't, and if they appear and they actually want you to think that they're fake and they're lying. So it's like I am not perfect. Nor do I ever want you to think I am.

Speaker 2:

I have figured out, like I said, I'm 41. It is taking me 41 years, but I literally lay in bed at night and and, as you've read in my book, I've been through some shit. Yeah, hopefully I can say that Sorry, oh yeah, um, I have been through it, okay. So I, I am at a point where I have suffered a lot in life, on and off, okay, at a point where I have suffered a lot in life, on and off Okay. But I also know you can dig out and when you get out of those horrible times and those tough times that we all go through in various ways, I can so appreciate, oh, my God, how blessed I am right now, right and, and I am and I lay in bed at night and I'm like I, how does it get better, I mean, and I don't need all the fancy things and all this, but like I'm just grateful and I've.

Speaker 2:

I've found out like, as I've gotten older really the last probably couple of years I've taken a hard look at, okay, my habits and things I'm doing and people I'm being around. What makes me feel like total crap and is draining my energy, because I don't, I can't function when I don't feel good, like I have to be feeling good or I'm just like a mess. So it's like get rid of this, get rid of that, cause those are draining me. I will not hang out with those people because they're mean or they dream me or they're negative or whatever. No, I don't have time for that. I put myself around people that inspire me women doing amazing things, you know, and and it energizes me and so really, like literally, I am running my company.

Speaker 2:

I wrote my first book, I'm writing my second and third book, I'm starting my podcast, I'm a speaker, but and my husband was like laughing Cause the other day I was like I feel like I've just been lazy lately, I'm just like want to do less. And he's like babe, if that's your lazy, like you're a lunatic. But but I said, and we were laughing, because all this stuff, it's not like I feel, I don't feel an external pressure Like I have to do that stuff. I do it because it lights me up and I freaking love it because, yes, I am doing a lot and most people are like you're insane, but but I really love it.

Speaker 2:

And I again, like five years ago, if you said I was doing all this stuff, I would've been like, no, I never wanted to write a book, ever, never. I was like stupid, no, don't, it's not me. And now I'm like, ooh, I love this. You know I wouldn't have ever done any of this stuff, but I kind of have, like I said, been open to the magic of my life and I go where I feel really good and then I just run with it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, oh, my gosh, I love all of what you just said, especially about like habits and the different things, like starting to get really attuned to the things that help you be a high performer, because sometimes I think we've attached this connotation of like oh, you go to bed, or like I go to bed really early.

Speaker 2:

I feel like drink a cup of tea.

Speaker 1:

And I'm like where are my girls out there Like want to have a cup of coffee in the morning and hang out that way I'm like not going to go out and party. You know, I'm just not at that stage, because it doesn't make me feel good.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I feel like I used to be like, oh, people are lame who don't do that. But now I'm like no, it's because if you want to be a high performance person, you have to have high performance habits, and so I really love that you're like and that includes people right Like, that includes like where your energy is. You know, somebody asked me recently like who's the best leader you've ever had or best boss you've ever had, and when I think about that response, it's a. It's someone who openly did not have their stuff together all the time and, you know, wasn't like completely breaking down to me as their employee, like as a complete hot mess all the time, but I felt like this realness from them really like knew who they were as a human, and so I feel like there's just so much to be said about that level of vulnerability that you can still lead but actually show people what you struggle with Right For sure, um, and I feel like that's that's definitely how you lead and kind of getting into some of your struggle.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I think this is fairly recently, like within the book, and maybe maybe not, but I kind of got the sense that writing the book like really helped you explore different edges and sides of yourself, um, including some of the trauma and like sexual assault that you've been through. So how do you feel like writing the book and like kind of going through that experience, like help some of that come to the surface and how do you feel like like where are you kind of at with your healing journey and all of that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, honestly, yeah, the book came out on Valentine's day and, honestly, like I being assaulted. So 20 years ago, I was in South America studying Spanish and I was by myself because I think I'd gone, trying to think, yeah, I'd gone the year before with a university group. So then I went back by myself for three months the following year and I was studying Spanish, blah, blah, blah, and I was. I ended up being drugged and raped and left alone in an abandoned house by my professor down there the one at the school and super messed up obviously and it was really I, you know was alone in a foreign country, totally could have been killed. I did not tell a soul for 20 years, for 20 years. So, literally, I think that was one of the biggest things of coming out in this book of like hi parents, hi husband, hi, close friends, like there's something I haven't told you ever and it's about ready to go out into the world. And so now, like it was finally me saying, okay, you don't need to shove the that trauma so deep down and pretend like it never happened. You can actually now, 20 years later, start healing from it and acknowledge it and take your power back, instead of that, like keeping you up at night and you're like thinking, why did you put yourself in that situation? Why? And I'm like, no, it wasn't me. Like get rid of shame and guilt so many women.

Speaker 2:

I now like writing that or speaking about it. I'll go, like I'll speak and I'll go to the bathroom, cause I always get the nervous peas and then, like I'll have three, three women in the bathroom, be like come up to me and say something similar happened to me because we don't share it, right, and it was so traumatizing that I pretended like it didn't happen. I didn't tell anyone for 20 years. So that was a really big piece of oh my God. Now I have to like call my parents and like tell my husband and they were all they had no clue, right.

Speaker 2:

Um, but then you know also another like probably the actual worst thing I've ever gone through, even worse than that that I wrote about, was um. That ended in December of last year, but it was a two and a half year lawsuit where I was being sued for millions of dollars and it was the most horrific, heavy, horrible experience of my life Like being attacked, like untrue things said about you, just the most ridiculous things, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on lawyers just to defend this crap. I mean, it's just insane. My kids were like mommy, when are we losing our house? Mommy, here's $12. You need it more than I do.

Speaker 2:

Like I was waking up covered in hives. I just was not okay and that was so hard to like wake up and like dig through and like run a company and be a mom and like get through just the day, honestly, and I finally just had to get a therapist. I was just not okay. I like I just wasn't okay. I knew I was struggling so bad mentally and you know, two and a half years of just I named the chapter hell.

Speaker 2:

It was absolute, pure hell. And and it's like that one is, I think, the longest chapter in the book because it went on so long. I kept like rambling on and almost using it as a journal because I'm like, oh, this just happens. And now you know, and just trying to go through my thoughts and I I even wrote like the words I'm trying to put on the page Don't even like accurately, I can't even like put into words this experience. And also, since I've done that, so many people are like, oh my God, I'm in a lawsuit right now, or I was in one, or, and they're just like it's horrible, like it's, you know. So people are they're doing, they're dealing with it quietly and they're suffering and they're not you know they. It's almost like by me just sharing all my crazy freaking stories. It's giving permission to people to be like oh well, I can share mine If I want. You don't have to right, or at least heal from it. At least heal from it. At the very least Right and move past shame and guilt.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, I love that permission slip piece and it also was such a profound reminder to me of you know cause I'm a big proponent of like. When you use your voice and when you share your story, there's um, there's just a level of like, healing that happens in the world and connection, because people who have been through it before or just resonate on some level, um are, are then like oh, I connect with you and now I feel seen in some sort of way.

Speaker 1:

So I think it's really um are are then like oh, I connect with you and now I feel seen in some sort of way. Yes. So I think it's really um, it's important and it's courageous that you share it in the book because, like you said, that's a very public um way to share that. You know that information, that story, so what was it like to share that with your husband and your parents, like the piece about the sexual assault?

Speaker 2:

What was that process like? Oh man, I was so nervous, I was just like I put it off so long. I think I told my husband first and I think we were sitting in the hot tub and I'm like yeah, there's something I need to tell you. Like it's coming. I did, I am writing about it. And I like told him and I was like I don't, I'm not trying to like upset you about it. And he was kind of quiet and he's like well, do you want to talk about it? And I said I don't really. You know, now I've like written about it, I'm like have moved through it.

Speaker 2:

I I said I'll answer any questions you have, but I don't need to talk about it in depth really for me, um, so we talked about it and then, like a week later, he's like hey, babe, like I've been a little off this week and I was like oh yeah, why. And he's like I've been driving home sobbing, like I've been driving home from work sobbing, I'm so sad for you and I'm like angry and I like wish I was there to protect you and I'm like honey, that like that means so much, like, but you that was, you didn't even know me then, but I appreciate that you love me and like your goal. He always says my one goal in life is to protect you and these boys Like that is it Right? So it it kind of hit him hard and I said I appreciate that you like care and feel bad, but, like I said, I'm not sitting dwelling on it every day and I've I've been moving past it and I've you know I've gotten to the other side and I said you know, so do what you need to do.

Speaker 2:

Like I'm not saying don't like just cut it off and move on, but I said don't sit and like let it like rip you apart for the next like month, right, so yeah, and then my, my mom and stepdad, I called them and I think I had texted them Cause I was just I have to plan and I said, hey, I need to talk to you guys both. And I'm sure they were like, oh, that's weird. And I just I told them and my mom started crying I think they both did actually and you know they were like we just feel bad that that happened and like that we couldn't help you again. You know, and same thing. And they were like we're just so sorry that happened and we weren't there. We, you know, we wish we could have been there to support you or something. You know they're not, not like, we're not mad at you at all, but we just wish you didn't go through that alone for 20 years.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my dad, my dad was the last one I told, cause I was like that's just like the worst, like you know, telling your dad that it is like the fricking worst thing to say. And I think he started crying too and you know it was like well, thank you, wow, like that's. He was just like thank you for sharing that with me. And I'm again so sorry and we like we all moved through it and you know now they're it's not like they're embarrassed of me sharing it Like that's an intense story and I I get that some people would be like, oh my God, why is she sharing that?

Speaker 2:

But again, those are my people but one, and I'm sharing it because I don't need to keep it silent Like who am I protecting it's? I took my power back and I'm sharing it too because I know there are sadly so many other women that have gone through something not the exact same thing, but something similar that they need somebody sharing so they don't feel alone and so they don't suffer and you know and are dealing with that completely like feeling like they're the only one, because they're not Right yeah.

Speaker 1:

And sometimes I think we don't like, we think suffering in silence. Well, I'm not really suffering. I have a good life, all of this, but you don't realize down. Yeah, I follow this, but you don't realize down, yeah Right, you don't realize how much you're holding onto and how much it's affecting you. Like you said, it does do something for you, um, as far as your power, and I think, like you said, sharing it and actually talking about it is the way to take your power back.

Speaker 1:

Um because you're not letting it have that grip on you. You're like excavating it from your soul. I feel like when you get it out into the world. And then, like you said, it's like so many uh, for all the people who have been through something like that that then feel like permission to talk about it or, you know, maybe do something different in their current situation, so that I think it's hugely powerful. And then, oh my gosh, going through the lawsuit was. I can't even imagine that, so I guess between yeah, I mean, and your family.

Speaker 1:

So, between these things, do you feel like these events have really like broken you down and like you just almost didn't have, you know, other places to turn? Do you feel like they have made you a better leader, a better mom, in some way shape or form? Do you feel that they've kind of given you certain lessons?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean I before I well, like I said, I never wanted to write a book and somehow this book was like the catalyst, the like vehicle for me finally to realize wow, you've actually gone through a lot of stuff in life, from childhood and now you, you actually do have stories worth sharing right With the world. Um, and I forgot what the main question was.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but it's made me who I am and I am forever stronger. Like like if I made it through that last thing where you know December 28th, it was over last year, I'm like, oh my God, it's, you know. It's like you have PTSD from it. Like you're just like, oh, I'm it's over. Like you keep waiting to feel that heaviness. Right, I've learned so much and I've grown in, but I know now I can make it through literally anything. Like I know how strong I am, but I also know how low I got.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But I, I knew at this point in life, I had, you know, 20 years ago I did no healing. Now I know myself, I had to get a therapist. I had to stop drinking cause that's not helping me. I had, you know, had to get out in the sunshine and just chill out a little bit and say no to some meetings, cause I didn't care. I was like I can't go out and slap on a fake smile Cause I'm not feeling it right now, like I it's, I am in it and it's hard, you know, and I cried more than I ever could, I had more meltdowns than I ever thought I could.

Speaker 2:

Just, you know, trying to run a company and then deal, oh, you have to send thousands of documents to your lawyer by two days from now. I'm like, oh yeah, that's really what I want to be doing right now, because I don't have a million other things to do. I mean just stupid money. So I mean so much money just flying out the window Like window, like yeah, if I can make it through all that, I like I truly know I can make through anything, and I also feel this inner fire and kind of like want to just kick ass because, oh, you think you're coming for me and you're gonna take me down and break me. No, no, you're not, because I you will. A person like that will never break me. I'm sorry, but I will never. I will fight until I have nothing left and not let someone like that win.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

And so I've learned that I got some grit and I will. I know I will dig out because I deserve to. Yeah, and I will not let that kind of stuff win.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I kind of have this belief that, you know, trauma has a way of being this like mirror into our soul and into who, how much resilience we can have where, like that, grit and tenacity comes from and just really shows you what you're made of, even though it maybe should never have happened, of course, or it was undeserving all of this. I really do feel like that there's a power behind it when you can overcome it. No, it maybe should never have happened, of course, or it was undeserving all of this. I really do feel like that there's a power behind it when you can overcome it and there's a collective healing that happens because you're you're the one that is gifted with this ability to now talk about it and help other people through it.

Speaker 2:

So I like.

Speaker 1:

I kind of feel like, on some weird way or some weird level, that you were like meant to go through some of this.

Speaker 2:

Yes, as much as it sucked, but yeah, I think I was. Yeah, it's part of my story, right, but I truly think that alone, the lawsuit specifically, was a very pivotal moment in my life and I think I even wrote that in the book. Like I'm going to look back on this moment right now and it's done, and my life has just shot off from there because I'm like, okay, here we go. I am so done. Watch me go like just freaking, watch me. You know what I mean. And it has, like my, the things I've done in the last year. And and it also to show like during that I wrote a book.

Speaker 2:

During that I still had a successful company, I had all this stuff, but I I could take. I took a step back. It was gentle with myself, you know when I needed to be, but even during the horrible, horrible times, I was still moving forward, still doing the things that did light me up, because I needed those even more at that time. You know what I mean. It's not like you have to. Just, I think there are some people out there. Like it says, you're either going this way or you're going to go drink.

Speaker 2:

you know, become an alcoholic, become an addict go the other way and just give up, and that's what your life will always be Right, or you're going to do this Right yeah, and honestly like to a lot of people, you would have every reason to do that Right, like they would, of course, like you want to crawl under a rock and you want to bring your problems away. Right, and everyone would justify that.

Speaker 1:

But I think it's different to say you know what F that, like I'm going to use all of this as ammunition to go build an even better life, even though, like, there are probably days where you did throw in the towel right, like cause for sure.

Speaker 2:

Like, yeah, it was hard but but it's like, are you going to let that completely define you and change your life, or are you going to let it? Yeah, you can you wallow sometimes and you have a good cry and you like have a day where you're like, oh my God, I just can't. But then you get back up and you suck it up and dig through and find a way to take care of yourself and feel okay. Because if I what I learned to do that if, if I didn't take care of myself and feel okay, I wouldn't have made it through Like it just would have been so much worse, so much worse to get through there, right, Right yeah, and I feel like you're such a good example, too, of being so true to who you are Like.

Speaker 1:

I feel like that's one of the big reasons, obviously, that I reached out to you, but it's one of the reasons I think that you are able to overcome and be successful and do it all in your way, which I think is really important, because I I just kind of love the combination, Like even looking at your book and like some of what, like your colors are for your branding it's hot pink, like it's hot pink and it's like neon, and you know you have a really good combo where I'm sure some people would say you can't like use those colors. You don't want to look like or whatever.

Speaker 2:

And you're like. I wear hot pink when I go to construction meetings, I don't give a crap. I walk up and it's like all guys. I'm like, hey, and some they're like oh my God, look at you and you're pink. Yep, you got your pink on, you know the guys commenting on what I'm wearing. It's hysterical.

Speaker 1:

I love it. But I love it again because it's like, again it's so true to who you are and I just feel like again, you're such a Testament for women out there. So I hope you, I hope you just feel that and I hope that you see, like the awards and just some of those things that I feel like are like nods from the universe that are like, yep, keep going, like you got something here. So, um, I have just loved this conference. I could keep talking to you for days.

Speaker 2:

I know, I know we're going to just do this every day, I know, and every day zoom.

Speaker 1:

I was like how can we have like a standing meeting where we just get to chat, um? So I love to close out these conversations with um. I have, like the previous guest, leave a piece of advice or something for the next guest, not knowing who it is, and so I am going to share with you what the last guest shared, and she said your voice matters. Your voice holds a unique frequency. It holds a unique code that is here to make a difference in this world. That's great.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I just feel like that's so you and you're writing your next books, and so I love that, and I just would love to invite you to do the same, so anything that's coming to you or that you just feel called to share with other women. What would that be?

Speaker 2:

I would say keep putting your light out into the world. The world needs each of us. None of us are the same. It needs authentic, real, vulnerable people and women going out, because the women are going to change the world. These men are like we could. We could have a whole another discussion on that right. We need strong, passionate, amazing, smart women. So keep putting your light and love out in the world, because that's what's going to change the world. Oh my gosh, that's so, so good. Love out in the world, because that's what's going to change the world.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, that's so, so good. I love that you said that like women are going to change the world, cause I have this deep seated belief in my heart that this is like the era of that for sure.

Speaker 2:

We need to step up and like take, take control, because we approaching so differently and sometimes I mean I'm sure we all can look around and be like what? Sometimes the world is a terrifying place. We need to step into our power and really get out there we do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and we all have it in us. That's the other thing. And so many of us are playing small, so I hope, if you've, listened to this episode. I hope that you feel on some level like you. You're seen and you're heard by us and, of course, reach out to Chelsea. I'm going to drop all the links. Um in. Yes.

Speaker 2:

If anything resonated, please yes.

Speaker 1:

And where, like? Lastly, yeah, when can people connect with you? I know I'll drop, you know the link to your book, but where else can they find you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say probably the best place is just, uh, my website it's Chelsea um C, he-l-s-e-a, q-s-u-m, h-u-s-u-mcom. On there. It's like all the info but social links to really anything on there. But, yeah, if anything resonated or if you're going through something like I wanna always offer to be a listening ear, truly, because some people, just you need that and if you're going through it, or if you're like came out on the other side but maybe went through a tough time, like I would, just I love to hear maybe how something we talked about today resonated with with your tribe.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, yeah, oh, my gosh, that's awesome. And yes, please reach out to Chelsea. Um, it means so much to us to just have you listen in, and so thank you so much for being here, chelsea Gosh, this has been an amazing conversation.

Speaker 1:

I feel so lit up and energized and you're just doing really powerful work in this world, so I just want to thank you for that. I am so grateful that you took the time to come and hang out here with me today and, honestly, I can't thank you enough. So instead, I will just say that I would appreciate your continued help in keeping this show on top by dropping a five-star rating and leaving a review. It truly helps the algorithms and helps keep us on the edge. I'm sending you a virtual aggressive hug, which is the only way I like to give hugs, and thank you again for joining me in this wild, awesome ride. I look forward to hanging out with you next time and until then, remember that you deserve a place on the top and I'll see you there.

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Valerie Lynn

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